Forgiveness: The Cost of Freedom

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Forgiveness is the currency of redeemed relationships. It lies at the absolute center of the Christian faith, encompassing both the vertical relationship between God and humanity and the horizontal relationships between people. It is not simply forgetting a wrong or pretending it didn't happen; it is a conscious, often costly, decision to cancel a debt and release a person from the punishment they deserve.

The Foundation: God's Forgiveness of Us

We cannot begin to understand our need to forgive others until we grasp the magnitude of the forgiveness we have received from God. God's forgiveness is not cheap. Because God is perfectly just, sin had to be punished. The price for our rebellion against a holy God was death. But because God is also perfectly loving, He provided the payment Himself.

In Christ, "we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace" (Ephesians 1:7). This forgiveness is total and complete. As the psalmist beautifully wrote, "as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12). When we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive and "to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

The Command: Forgiving as We Are Forgiven

Because we have been forgiven an infinite, unpayable debt, we are commanded to forgive the much smaller debts others owe us. Jesus made this painfully clear in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:21-35. A servant forgiven an astronomical debt by his king immediately goes out and chokes a fellow servant who owes him a tiny amount. The king's response is furious.

Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ (Matthew 18:32-33)

The logic is inescapable. To accept God's forgiveness while refusing to forgive others is the height of hypocrisy. It reveals that we have not truly understood the grace we claim to have received. This is why Jesus includes it in the Lord's Prayer: "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12).

What Forgiveness Is Not

Understanding biblical forgiveness also means understanding what it is not. Misconceptions can create unnecessary barriers and guilt.

• It is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not a form of amnesia. It is remembering the wrong but choosing not to use it against the person anymore.
• It is not excusing the behavior. Forgiveness does not mean saying, "What you did was okay." It acknowledges the sin was wrong but cancels the personal debt.
• It is not always immediate reconciliation. Forgiveness is a personal act of the will. Reconciliation is a process that requires both parties. You can forgive someone even if they are unrepentant or if rebuilding trust is unwise or unsafe.

Forgiveness is Our Freedom

While forgiveness is a command, it is also a gift we give to ourselves. Harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It chains us to the past and allows the person who hurt us to continue to exert control over our emotions and peace. When we choose to forgive, relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, we are the ones who are set free. It is a difficult, often painful act of the will, but it is the only path to true peace and a life that reflects the heart of our forgiving God.